All of us want love. Then, once we get it, we become afraid and begin to run in the opposite direction. On the one hand we’re trying to find love, searching for some lasting connection. On the other hand, we’re relieved when the individual goes away.
It always”seems” like relationships are difficult. They seem hard to find, to maintain and to enjoy.Yet, the basic reality is: there isn’t any underlying problem with relationships. There’s never a lack of relationships. There’s never a lack of love.
The most frequent response to this question is that we have to find the ideal person. There’s always something wrong with the people we meet. We’ve not yet discovered the”right” person, who will make us really satisfied. Or, if we’ve discovered him/her, that person has left us and nobody could ever take their place .
At this stage we still believe that another individual can make us happy. However, all right, let’s look for a moment at what we’re dreaming about. Have some time to see clearly who this ideal person is to you. Sit down and write a description of how you’d imagine your ideal partner to be. Let yourself daydream. Write down all the qualities such a person could have.
Now, write a paragraph describing how you may have to be to be able to have such a partner. (Daydreams have electricity ). Only doing this exercise you will start to laugh. There might be wild discrepancies between how you see yourself today and how you believe your would need to be to maintain such an ideal partner.
What else might you find? You may also discover that you don’t really like this ideal person after all. He/she might only be some sort of ego-ideal. (Someone to develop your own self-image).
An attitude such as this relies upon non-acceptance of who and what we actually are.When we use another individual to develop our own self-image, this sort of connection is grounded in fear.
Love can never be built upon a base that’s not real. If we do not feel good within ourselves, is it really so surprising we might not really be so excited, after all, with this ideal
There are lots of ways people keep love away. Some always fall into relationships only with difficult individuals. In this way they insure that they’ll either be rejected, or need to reject the other. Rejection can feel more comfortable and familiar than the experience of love. Take a long, hard, superior look at this. Look at what it’s in you that feels it must keep away. We can’t be open to relationship and love until we have the ability to release our fear of and desire for rejection. Once this pattern is managed, all of life opens its many doors.
As this occurs it is inevitable to understand that love is free, it flows everywhere. It flows to everyone no matter their qualities. Love has nothing to do with any pictures or dreams of how somebody else”should be”, or how we”ought to be” either.
Each man or woman is the best person just as they are. When you get started finding the beauty in everyone, then the best one for you just walks through the doorway.
Start today. Look around for a moment. See who’s really on your life. Have a look at this person. Are you prepared to love them? Really? What is going to happen if they begin to love you also? Anything we can not love or take in another, is a mirror of something we can not love or take in our ourselves. All it takes is one moment to opt to turn that around. Try for a minute. See how wonderful it feels.
Here’s a lovely exercise. Close your eyes, look at yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you. Open your eyes a minute. Close them again, and look at yourself today through your own eyes. Open your eyes. Can you decide to appear at yourself and others, through the eyes of somebody who loves them? If you can, you’ll be amazed at all of the love that begins flowing to you.