Dating is a daunting prospect, especially for people who’ve been off the circuit for a short time. Here’s a little dating advice to help you back on the dating wagon.
1. Bear in mind that this is a date for your partner too. They’re also likely to be nervous and worried whether they’re doing/saying that the”right thing”. Be yourself, and encourage your date to do the same. Dates are all about finding out about another person, if you’re both in your”best” behavior, the real you will be able to shine through. So relax and be yourself.
2. Find out in advance where you’ll be going. Try and have a trip beyond there and see what people are wearing so you know you’ll be dressed right. Among the worst fears on getting ready for a date is in knowing what to wear. Whilst your partner may not be too concerned about if you’re dressed right, you wont unwind if you believe you’re under or over dressed for the day. Doing a little research work ahead takes the stress and guesswork out of picking your clothing.
3. On a similar note to clothes, do not wear new shoes! You might feel that all you’ll do is walking from a car to a restaurant and back again, and thus your brand new 3 inch stiletto heels with the very small straps around the front will be perfect for a fancy restaurant – but what if your date wants to dance? Or invites you for a moonlit stroll? The shoes may not prove to be such a terrific idea! So think ahead, and provide the new shoes a miss on this event!
4. Plan ahead on subjects you can talk about. There are few things worse than a dinner where nobody has anything to say and so you sit in an awkward silence, each waiting for the other to find something that you can discuss. Create a list and commit it to memory. If the conversation starts to falter a bit, select one of the topics in the list and restart the dialogue. The more you speak with your date, the more you find out – if you remember to stop talking once in a while and listen naturally!
5. If you’re dating with a hope of finding a permanent partner, then make sure you use the date for a fact finding mission! Learn what your date likes, what he dislikes, what his views are on social issues etc.. Do not get into any massive religious or political argument! This is not the time or the location. But only gently lead the conversation around to matters which are non-negotiable problems for you and gently brush over the surface to see what views he may hold. As soon as you’ve got a feel for what he believes in, you can research this further at another event – unless what you find on the surface is sufficient for you to call it a day with this specific date and continue your hunt!
6. The end of a date is always a little tricky. What to do? Is it OK to sleepover? Have you got to kiss your date? In this era, this should no longer be a matter of convention. This is completely your choice. You should do what feels best for you. If you would like him to stay overnight, then invite him! If you do not want him to kiss you, then make the first move and make it clear that you don’t need personal space invaded. Don’t make up your mind before you even leave the house. Enjoy the day and see where you would like it to finish. If you are having dinner, have a visit to the ladies room between the desert trail along with the coffee, have a few moments to yourself and decide how you would like the rest of the day to go if it is left on your hands. Your date might of course might not wish to do anything more than put you into a taxi, but if that is not true, then you decide what you want to happen and take it from there.
7. The last bit of information I have for you, is to have fun! Dating should not feel like a chore. Something you need to get through so you may move onto the great stuff! Dating should be a period of exploration, and of meeting new individuals. A time of learning about them, and perhaps discovering something of yourself on the way. Enjoy it!